I have a new partner: when do I introduce them to my kids?

When is it appropriate to introduce a new partner to my children?

When and where to introduce a new partner to your children is individual for each family and is ideally discussed with your co-parent before either of you has a new partner. New partners often comes up as a topic in mediation for newly separated parents - how and when are we going to introduce new partners to our kids and what role will the new partner/s play in the kids lives, what will they be called? Ideally agreements are made between parents to help the children transition to a new phase of separated life.

However, life is not always simple and not everyone thinks about this before it happens. Suddenly there is a new partner on the scene, and parents have to do their best around when, where and how to introduce a new partner. It is a common place we see co-parents trip up. Their co-parenting relationship is going really well, very amicable, the kids are doing well and adjusted to the separation and parents are speaking and making decisions together. And then along comes a new partner, and everything goes pear shaped!

While it is very individual and not one right way to do it see below for some agreements I have seen parents make together to help the children (and parents) adjust to new partners becoming part of the family are:

• not introducing new partners until it is likely this is a long term partner (some parents put a time frame for example after 6 months).

• Introducing a new partner to the other parent first.

• Keep all sexual activity completely away from children (no nakedness, no hearing or seeing any sexual activity).

• Prioritise parents relationship with the children and maintain one on one time with the children away from partners

Ideally work with your co-parent to come up with any guidelines you are both ok with in regards to new partners. Sit down together and brainstorm what is important for you both.

If this is not possible, reach out for support in mediation to have those difficult conversations!